Insights From The 2018 Leaderonomics Parenting Survey

At Leaderonomics, we have a blueprint on how leaders are developed. We call it the ‘Science of Building Leaders’. You can read all about it here.

Essentially, this roadmap is based on research that identified key elements which need to come together at different stages of one’s life, to assist an individual in developing into a well-rounded leader.

The journey starts at a young age – from birth, in fact. Therefore, much of early leadership development relies not just on the individual, but his or her support system and the environment in which they exist.

This includes parents, guardians, teachers, extended families and the community they are surrounded by. A huge part of early formative leadership, including intelligence development, early role models and initial success stories, depend on parenting and childcare providers.

To understand what parents’ value and how they work on them with their children, we conducted an in-depth survey between April and May, asking parents a series of questions. The majority surveyed (78%) had more than one child who ranged from infants to young adults.

Both Eva and I are parents – each of us have two children – and we found many of the insights from this survey applicable to young parents in their quest to grow their children into leaders.

Here, we chose to focus on three questions asked in this survey.

Q1: How do you think your child learns best? 

Most respondents answered that their child learns best through experiencing and experimenting in different areas. This was followed by watching/observing parents, teachers and peers by example, and through discussions, dialogues and questioning.

One parent said that both her children had different strengths with differing ways of learning – one being visual and artistic, while the other more mechanical and wanting to know how things work.

She still makes sure to teach them using other methods and styles so that her child does not just rely on a single way of learning. She does, however, revert to their preferred learning style when they cannot grasp the lesson.

Research has identified that there are seven general learning styles.

These styles are derived from the multiple intelligences theory and these preferences may change over time, or between various subject matters.

The idea is that everyone’s preferences are different and in a learning setting, and that teachers should ideally incorporate methods that appeal to all levels of intelligence.

Personally, when I (Roshan) have to teach a classroom of youth, I use varying methods which include having the children read, watch videos, getting folks to narrate or role play, or getting the students to work in a group, present back to the class, act out skits, or even make diagrams, models, or touch certain items.

Eva likewise, when dealing with her children, takes time to recognise her child’s learning style and generally teaches according to their preference. She also exposes her son and daughter to a variety of learning styles early in life to enable them to become comfortable at receiving and processing information in different ways.

Everyone has different preferences of learning styles and techniques. Some people find that they have a dominant style of learning, with far less use of the other styles. Others may find that they use different styles in different circumstances.

There is no ‘right’ mix, nor are styles fixed. Using multiple learning styles for learning is a great approach to develop flexibility and adaptability in children.

Traditional schooling uses (and continues to use) mainly linguistic and logical teaching methods. It also uses a limited range of learning and teaching techniques.

Many schools still rely on classroom and book-based teaching, repetition, and pressured exams for reinforcement and review. This results in us labelling those who are dominant in these learning styles and techniques as bright.

Children using less favoured learning styles often find themselves in the ‘not as smart’ category, with various not-so-complimentary labels and sometimes lower quality teaching.

This can create positive and negative beliefs on what constitutes ‘smart’ and ‘dumb’.

Research by Restak (1979) and Thies (1979) found that more than three-fifths of a person’s learning style is biologically imposed, but not hereditary. This means the formative years and the child’s environment play a huge role in their learning.

This explains differences in the academic performances of siblings, or differences from the parents’ preferences, for example. The other two-fifths or so of learning styles develop as an outgrowth of students’ experiences.

Preferences for learning styles change over time. However, during a period in which an individual has strong style preferences, that person will achieve most easily when taught with strategies and resources that complement those preferences. Everyone can learn, but we just learn differently.

Q2: What are you doing to ensure your child is developing well? 

To this question, most respondents said that they guide or coach their children when necessary and when they feel that it is right to intervene. Twenty-one per cent of parents mentioned that they make it a point to identify different areas their children may be interested in and help them develop those.

Community service activities are a great way to promote leadership qualities and give children the opportunity to share their leadership skills with the rest of the community.

A number of years ago, I took my children over to Shelter Home in Petaling Jaya to help paint and fix up one of the homes there.

To prepare, they had to choose a few of their favourite toys to give away to some of the children in the home. This forced them to explore the meaning of giving and also to be involved in making a difference in a small way. We had some great conversations on giving, love and justice.

Conversations such as this are critical for the development of young children. Such activities, when designed for your children, help them develop their character and also expose them to early leadership experiences.

Eva sent her son for a sports class at a very early age. This helped him to not only exercise but also to develop his social and teamwork skills.

But more importantly, the conversations she had with him after practice encouraged him not to give up when he experienced defeat and loss.

Allowing children to experience loss and failure early in life teaches them how to pick themselves up and keep going.

Q3: What activities do you do with your children? 

Outdoor activities were the most cited activity. This includes outdoor sports and athletic activities. Playing together was also another common response, followed by movies and reading.

Holidays and travel, sports, and having meals together were also mentioned a substantial number of times, followed by conversations, discussions, and imparting knowledge and skills.

A respondent shared how she reads books to her children to expose them to the outside world, and she makes it real to them by not sugar-coating the harsh realities of the world in the process.

It is reassuring to see that the activities parents do with their children as well as what they do to ensure their child is developing well does not contradict learning styles theories and in fact, assist their children in learning by offering the practice, exploration, observation as well as discussion and guidance around topics.

Keeping the intentionality in mind constantly could help to make these interactions even more fruitful in terms of ‘teaching’ children about different aspects of life.

As parents, every interaction that we have with our children is an opportunity to mould them and impact their growth in some way – yet the majority of time, it is instinctively done, not intentional.

The key for parents is to intentionally allocate time to spend with your children. As my son and daughter were growing up, I started to allocate weekly ‘Papa Time’ with them. This would be time for us to do stuff with me that they generally never did.

We set-up a lemonade stall and made lemonade to sell to our neighbours during one such session. We have even created our own game. Occasionally, we write stories and compare them. Through all these activities, they have my undivided and that is key – spending time with your child.

Some children learn best when they learn a few small facts at a time, and figuring out how to put the pieces together – a part-to-whole sort of style.

Other children learn best when they first have an overview of how things work and fit together; then they fill in the details with the smaller facts – a whole-to-part sort of style.

The traditional school approach favours the part-to-whole learner. It’s an incremental approach that builds over time. 

Phonics instruction tends to work well as a beginning reading strategy for this type of learner, and traditional math instruction can work well.

A whole-to-part learner, on the other hand, needs to see the larger picture and understand how new knowledge fits into what he or she already knows.

Learning sight words tends to work well as a beginning reading strategy for these children, with phonics coming in a bit later as a strategy to conquer new words.

For this type of learner, it’s only after knowing how to read the words ‘rat’, ‘cat’, ‘sat’, and ‘hat’ that it makes sense to explain how those words are put together as combinations of letters that represent specific sounds.