7 Ways To Deal With The Lies Leaders Tell Themselves

Feb 24, 2017 1 Min Read
Alt

LDR-PDF-download-110x110

When you screw up, someone didn’t follow through. When others screw up, they procrastinated.

It’s not if, but how you lie to yourself.

You fail because of circumstances.

Others fail because of character. They lack initiative. They don’t have what it takes.

When leaders lie to themselves, they:

1. Affirm themselves

2. Disaffirm others

3. Close minds

4. Live with blindspots

5. Strain relationships

6. Disconnect

7. Demotivate teams

The lies we believe about ourselves cause us to deny the obvious and defend the ridiculous.

7 lies you may believe about yourself:

1. Everyone else is over it because you’re over it. This morning’s emotional outburst is ancient history.

2. Your team loves it when you tweak their work.

3. Others don’t see your weaknesses.

4. If you put your hands over your eyes, that nagging problem will eventually disappear.

5. You’re a good listener.

6. You don’t have a problem with arrogance.

7. Your way is the best way.

7 ways to deal with the lies you tell yourself:

1. Ask for suggestions when someone points out something you don’t see in yourself. “What suggestions do you have for me, with this shortcoming in mind?’

2. Listen for excuses and blaming in your language. What comes after, “That’s because?” Is it someone else or are you taking responsibility?

3. Just believe that we all lie to ourselves.

4. Lean toward agreement. Whisper in your own ear, “They could be right.”

5. Connect with an honest mentor, coach, or adviser.

6. Invite people to point out blindspots in the moment. “Tell me right when you see it. Don’t wait until next week.”

7. Say, “Thank you,” when you hear something that doesn’t align with your self-perceptions. “Go with” before pushing back.

What lies do leaders tell themselves?

How might we deal with our tendency to tell ourselves lies?

Dan Rockwell is a coach, speaker and is freakishly interested in leadership. He is the author of a world-renowned, socially shared leadership blog, Leadership Freak.

Reposted with permission on Leaderonomics.com

Save

Save

Share This

Personal

Alt

This article is published by the editors of Leaderonomics.com with the consent of the guest author. 

You May Also Like

Woman stretching with her arms open

Where Does Self-Care Fit on Your To-Do List?

By Michelle Gibbings. Self-care may seem like an optional luxury when work becomes a lot, but it should not be viewed that way. Read more on how to balance that to become the best version of yourself at work.

Jun 21, 2023 6 Min Read

Alt

Taking Career Risks - Yay or Nay?

Arun Nagarajah, CEO and Co-Founder of eVULX discusses the variety of career risks, how to judge when to take them, and what happens if things don’t work out.

Sep 07, 2021 22 Min Podcast

clarity

Two Signs to Find Clarity In Your Life Direction

Are you at a crossroad where you need clarity for your life direction? While we cannot control every element in our lives, there are two signs that you should be alert to. Watch this video where you can learn about these intersections and how you can find clarity in your life

Feb 28, 2022 1 Min Video

Be a Leader's Digest Reader