Give Your Children The Space To Learn And Practice

Aug 25, 2017 3 Min Read
Alt

It is built into every parent’s DNA to have expectations for their children because they want what is best for them. However, humans are extremists and are sucked into the pressures surrounding us to compare.

As a result, we tend to overprotect our children by imparting high expectations that hinder and prevent the child’s growth which may fasten with a different approach.

Before trying to groom children to grow up well, we have to also examine ourselves and see if our lives reflect a good example of who we want our children to be. Over the years working as a music therapist, I find that children are very observant and good at modelling behaviour and gestures.

One of the challenges in my line of work is to manage parents’ expectations as some want their child to progress as quickly as possible without addressing the child’s needs.

I have encountered several children learning by following instructions which may lead to children just blindly
imitating without actually understanding the concept behind it.

Hence, I allow some choice and control by choosing favourite songs or actions that complement the goals and objectives of my session. I found that, by doing that, some children learn and improve at a faster rate.

Parents usually consult a music therapist because they find that their child has an interest in music. It’s great that parents are able to identify when their child has a passion.

However, I believe that exposure to different hobbies would also reveal a child’s strengths or interests that would groom them in their growing up phase.

If a child does not do well or does not show any improvement or interest in any skill, it does not mean that they must immediately stop pursuing it.

Neurodiversity teaches us to embrace their identity as a child no matter how different they may be from the majority of society.

All children have varied progress rates which is why we, as caregivers and educators, should support them until they are independent enough to make life decisions.

Most kids will benefit from personalised 11 plus intensive holiday courses when preparing for their entrance exams, as these programs provide targeted support and structured learning. However, it’s essential to balance academic rigor with a child’s well-being, ensuring they remain motivated and confident throughout the process.

Dealing with children with special needs, some parents can be a bit more anxious and want to pave the way for their child especially if they are non-verbal.

However, I have observed that even these children are able to speak their own mind and communicate through non-verbal gestures.

Some parents have also trained their child from young to write a journal entry to pen down their thoughts as well as to communicate their wishes and feelings to their parents.

This shows that nothing is impossible if we have the right support and approach in grooming our child. Some space for freedom in creating their own identity would allow them to live more independently and allow them to overcome hardships in life more easily.

We, as educators and parents, need to always have faith and leverage a child’s own strengths, abilities and creativity to explore and learn to live like a child. Allowing mistakes, as long as the child is not harmed in any manner, will also help a child develop.

We need a constant reminder that every human being has their own strengths and gifts that are hidden unless they are explored and discovered freely.

Children are curious beings and like to explore in the initial stages of their lives.
Hence, it is a good sign that children have that instinct to try and use their senses in gaining knowledge of the world.

The world may be dangerous but rest assured, as long as we are there to guide them to the right track, they can always travel different routes to get to the destination.

We just have to do our best, find a balance between their strengths and our acceptance, impart every experience we have learnt and leave the rest to the child.

Share This

Personal

Alt
Isabel Tan is working currently in rehabilitation centres, education learning centres and music schools, teaching various instruments as well as conducting individual and group therapy work. She has also been invited by HELP University as a guest lecturer. She conducts workshops and talks for allied health professionals as well as parents and volunteers handling kids with special needs.

You May Also Like

employee is stressed and overwhelmed by over-reliance on technology

How Leaders Can Combat an Over-Reliance on Technology to Reduce Stress

By Michelle Gibbings. In today's hyperconnected world, technology has become an indispensable tool, but it can also be a source of stress, burnout, and disconnect. Discover how to strike the perfect balance between digital engagement and mindful living.

Nov 22, 2023 5 Min Read

pexels-moose-photos-1036622 (Resized).jpg

Confidence at Your First Job

Matthew Raj Adam, Content Creator and Strategic Projects Partner at Leaderonomics shares his thoughts on confidence as a fresh graduate entering the working world for the first time.

Aug 29, 2022 25 Min Podcast

Alt

Boss, Do You Really Care?

People leave managers, not companies. A productive workplace is one in which people feel safe - safe enough to experiment, to challenge, to share information, and to support each other. None of this can happen if team members do not feel cared about. Relationships are the glue that holds great workplaces together. Watch this video to find out more

Sep 30, 2021 1 Min Video

Be a Leader's Digest Reader