Balance is a total con. Here’s what I do instead.

A former boss once said to me, "You’re always lurching from one extreme to another".

Ah, those wonderful nuggets of feedback really do stick with you, don’t they?

Fortunately, this same leader also told my CEO, “Pound for pound, she’s the most valuable player we have in HR.”

So, on balance, I’m okay with his feedback. 

But it does make me wonder if the concept of balance is a bit of a con.

Humans don’t balance. We don’t glide along on some invisible skateboard, perfectly balanced, zen-like.

We walk—an act that requires shifting our weight from one leg to the other. That’s not balance; it’s a controlled lurch from foot to foot.

And while I didn’t exactly love that feedback, he was right! I do 'lurch from one extreme to another'—one day, I’m full-throttle with a group of challenging, dynamic leaders and all the 'jazz hands' energy. The next, I’m 'in the cave,' thinking, reading, planning, and avoiding distractions.

He lurched too—from negative to positive feedback. There was nothing balanced about that feedback!

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t love the prospect of being considered like Lurch from the Munsters. 

I’d rather be considered like a pendulum in perpetual motion. As long as it swings rhythmically, all is well. We might call this motion 'balance,' but really, it’s controlled lurching.

Being the pendulum gives us momentum. Perfect balance is only achieved when the pendulum stops moving, hanging motionless in the centre. Perfect balance means we’ve lost momentum.

A loss of momentum for leaders is no good.

So if that means lurching once in a while, so be it. Lurch away, I say!  And even better if you can learn to lurch deliberately—shifting from one state to another with intention. 

After all, it’s how we learned to walk. 

So, I’ve decided balance is a con—what really works is a deliberate lurching routine that keeps me moving forward, with purpose and momentum.

Here’s what my deliberate lurching routine looks like:

Energy

• No more than two consecutive 'jazz hands' days where I’m with others all day.
• No more than two consecutive 'in the cave' days when I’m alone all day.
• As a recovering ambivert, I’ve learned to balance energy very deliberately.

Time

• One day off a week—entirely.
• One slow day a week (Monday is often the choice at BoldHR).

I used to kid myself that weekends were sacred—they weren’t. I’d check my phone all weekend and start planning the week ahead by 4pm on Sunday. So, rather than pretend otherwise, I now embrace the reality of one entirely day off each week, paired with a minimum effort Monday.

Exercise

• PT every other day, smashing all my activity goals on those days.
• Fewer than 3,000 steps on the days in between.

Read: 

Work-Life Harmony: Bridging The Employee-Employer Disconnect

3 Reasons Work Life Integration Is The Future

Yes, I know this is an officially poor lifestyle practice, and no, I’m not advocating for it. But it works for me. 

And that's the point—finding what works for you.

So, as my former boss pointed out, yes, I’m always lurching from one extreme to another—and I’ve come to embrace that. Because in the end, it’s not about finding some mythical balance, but about harnessing the momentum that keeps us moving forward. 

It’s in that movement, that deliberate lurching, where we find our rhythm—and maybe even our strength.

So, be a lurch, be a pendulum—just keep moving, with purpose, from one deliberate lurch to the next.