Defeating The Demon Of Leadership Loneliness

Oct 21, 2016 2 Min Read
Alt
Executive Loneliness is Something All Leaders Need to Be Aware off

Leading sets you apart from others. Being out in front means you may walk alone. Additionally, you work to understand others but do others understand you?

If you feel alone, you aren’t alone.

Leadership’s “A” game:

Leaders bring their “A” game every day. You direct, guide, manage, decide, counsel, encourage, challenge. . .

1. You think of others and the organisation before yourself.
2. You think about tomorrow while those around you focus on today.
3. You know things others don’t and can’t know. You keep confidences.
4. You can’t spill your guts. You’re guarded even when you’re open.
5. You’re always “on,” watched, and evaluated.

Being set apart results in feeling set apart.

The danger of alone:

Loneliness always makes life harder. Stress is deeper, darks are darker, and thinking is impaired when you feel alone. I even read that loneliness speeds ageing.

Leadership’s “A” game results in feeling “A”-lone. To make matters worse, happy people don’t like hanging with lonely people. Lonely people hang together and create more loneliness.

Facing the demon of leadership loneliness:

1. Don’t expect people within your organisation to understand you.
2. Train top-tier leaders to think like CEOs who put others first.
3. Engage people in the process early and often.
4. Avoid faking and pretending. Faking feeds the demon of loneliness.
5. Develop authentic relationships with leaders outside your organisation. Expose your heart to someone you trust. Be selective.
6. Hire a coach. Be a coach and have a coach. Mine is Bob Hancox.
7. Take alone time at least once a month. Weekly is better. Alone time helps with loneliness.
8. Clear your mind so you can think more clearly. Read, walk, run, exercise, or go to a movie.
9. Warning: thinking you’re better than others is an arrogant defence mechanism that increases loneliness.

What are the causes of leadership loneliness?

How can leaders deal with feeling alone?

Reposted with permission on www.leaderonomics.com

This article is also available in Chinese.

Share This

Leadership

Tags: Executing Leadership

Alt
Dan Rockwell is a coach and speaker and is freakishly interested in leadership. He is an author of a world-renowned leadership blog, Leadership Freak.

You May Also Like

leader at the top; true leadership

Unveiling the Essence of True Leadership: What Do You Stand For?

By Ella Zhang. What does it take to have true leadership? Delve into core values, character, and resilience to lead authentically.

Jul 26, 2023 4 Min Read

Alt

Jimmy Wales, The Founder Of Wikipedia, Unveils His Secrets

All of us fail and mess up at times. The key question is, do we learn from our failures? Do we pick ourselves up and keep persevering even in defeat? Do we embrace failure or fear failure? According to Wales, the best people to hire are people who failed but have picked themselves up and have learnt precious lessons in life and business. Are you learning great lessons from our failures or just brushing them off and not learning much?

Oct 31, 2010 12 Min Video

Be a Leader's Digest Reader