By JOHN TAN
If I should have a daughter, I would tell her:
1. Life can be cruel at times
“This life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach.” – Sarah Kay
It won’t take you very long to figure that life can be a pain.
I wish I could show you a better world but life isn’t fair and it will never be. You will experience heart breaks, failures, rejections and insecurities that will make you question your worth. But I will be there to dry your tears and remind you of how precious you are to me.
I will make sure you are not a victim of anyone or anything, by instilling a sense of confidence, responsibility and perseverance in you. I will make sure that you know that you are in control of your life. No one can bring you down unless you allow them to. No obstacle is ever too difficult for you to overcome because there is always a solution for every problem.
All of us go through storms in life but what makes us all different is how we choose to deal with it. You can either cry about it or try to solve it. But I know you will be a strong woman (like your mother who is capable of handling anything that life throws at her path.)
2. Be grateful for the ups and downs
You will have days where you feel like you are a queen and days where you feel worthless. Don’t forget the bad days but be grateful for them, as they are equally important as the good ones, because they allow you to grow as an individual.
The good ones, of course, give you happiness while the bad ones give you experience. Through experiencing both days, you are able to discover something new – whether it is about yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses or about anything else. This will eventually make you wiser.
Someone once quoted this:
“Life is like a piano; the white keys represent happiness and the black show sadness. But as you go through life’s journey, remember the black keys also make music.”
Do always remember, my child, that a bad day does not equate to a bad life because nothing lasts forever. A new day is always coming which means it’s never too late for you to start over. So, hold your head up high and keep moving forward.
3. Your voice is small but don’t stop singing
Never let anyone discourage you from having an opinion and to voice it out. It is your right to have an opinion even if it goes against mine or anyone else. Of course, having an opinion is not a justification for you to impose your opinion on others. You should respect their views as well.
If you want to voice out your opinion, make sure you know your facts well. If not, you will look like a fool. And, please always remember to express your opinions politely.
4. Always apologise when you are at fault, and forgive
No doubt, it is one of most difficult thing to do, but it is important because it teaches you to stay humble. It is also a sign of maturity. When you apologise, it shows you are brave enough to swallow your pride and admit your mistake.
Of course, when you apologise, make sure you don’t repeat the same mistake; if not your apology will not be sincere and you won’t be able to change for the better.
Always forgive yourself and others who have done wrong to you because forgiveness always wins. There are going to be people who criticise and tear you down just because they feel like it. But please don’t let their bitterness change you. Be the bigger person and forgive.
By forgiving, you are doing yourself a favour. You will not have any negative feelings in you and this will allow you to be truly happy. Forgive yourself because you are only human. It’s normal to make mistakes as long you are learning from them.
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I hope whatever I just shared will help you live your life to the fullest because I want nothing but the best for you. No matter where you are, what you do and whoever you are with, I will be here for you.
Ps: I was inspired by Kay’s TED talk “If I should have a daughter”.